I'm not dead. I just have no reason it seems to continue this blog, but alas it would be a waste of the $10 I spent on this domain. But I digress.
I finished up the fall semester with a 4.0 gpa. I'm proud of myself, especially because I earned my A in Speech. It wasn't as bad as the nightmares I had about it. But anyway.
So late Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. May all your dreams come true in 2011. :/
I'm not gonna bother updating until I get feedback that isn't spam. I might install a captcha add-on just to see if it actually helps. So if anyone actually reads this and wants to comment, I apologize for the inconvenience.
I don't feel like typing up an entire post, so here's my past few weeks summed up:
- I started my work study job. It's not too bad, seeing as I just clip newspaper articles for a good five hours.
- I got another A on a speech, this time with 24 out of 25 points.
- My mom's car broke down on Friday, so I've been staying with my aunt in order to get to school.
- I've been sick since Wednesday, which was also the day I had the single worst headache of my life. I also have one now.
- My birthday is this Sunday. Woohoo.
- I'm really tired.
That pretty much covers everything. I'd elaborate if this headache wasn't gradually getting worse.
My third speech was Monday. I tried to persuade people to leave an abusive relationship. I got an A this time around, which made me very happy. I'm definitely getting more comfortable when I speak, in front of this class at least. I'm hoping to continue my upward progress this coming Monday. It's a speech to inform, but I haven't chosen a topic yet.
There are about 6 or 7 weeks left in this semester. I'm quite happy about that. I'm ready for speech to end, even if I am doing better.
I haven't started my job yet. I'm still waiting for my background check to clear. There's no reason it shouldn't, so hopefully it gets done soon.
In other news, I've completed the domain switch. Subscriptions weren't affected, so there is no need to update them. You can now reach me at alyssa@sociallyinept.us. Thanks. :)
I've purchased a domain name for the site. It might take up to a day or two for it to take effect, and it will most likely affect subscriptions. I will do my best to get everything fixed as soon as possible. You may have to update your subscriptions once the feed is updated. Thanks for your patience and your support!
The new web address will be www.sociallyinept.us, so make sure to update your bookmarks! You will also be able to reach me at my new email, alyssa@sociallyinept.us.
Thanks again! :)
Eventually I'll get into the habit of updating more than once a month.
I had my second speech a couple weeks ago. It went much better. I still had some trouble breathing, but I managed to get through it with a B+. My third speech will be due on Monday. So far, I've spoken about social anxiety and the Defense of Marriage Act. My upcoming speech will be about domestic violence and abusive relationships. Fairly heavy topics compared to some of my classmates.
I had an impromptu speech on Wednesday. Like the first one I gave in August, I had virtually no time to panic. I couldn't dread it because I didn't know (or rather, I forgot) that it was going to happen. As a result, I was able to stay calm the entire time. It was a weird feeling, staying relaxed while speaking in front of twenty people. If only I could figure out how to feel the same way during a planned speech. My life would be awesome.
November 1st is the first day to register for Spring classes. I've already got my schedule planned out. It includes English 2, Spanish 2, Earth Science, and College Math. Oh, and a gym class that I can take at the Y down the road. I'm pretty excited.
Oh! I got a job. It's a Federal Work Study position, which makes me really happy. I'll only be working 12.5 hours a week, making $8.75 an hour. I promise to not quit this time.
One more thing. I'm trying to raise money to become a volunteer for IMAlive. The training costs $250, which is impossible for me to afford at the moment. They've set up a Support-A-Volunteer program to help offset or even eliminate the cost of it. For more info about it, as well as why I need your help, please take a look at the help page. Link is on the side and on top. I'm grateful for any help I can get. :)
I think that's about it. I installed a new anti-spam plugin, so I've disabled comment moderation for now. It's so annoying having to mark twenty comments as spam every day. Unfortunately, that's about all the action I seem to be getting on here. :P
I hope everyone is having a great month. Halloween is almost here! Free candy!
It's been about three weeks since I last posted; I apologize for the lack of updates. One big point I'd like to mention: I quit my job after the first week. Then again, who didn't see that one coming. In my own defense, the job was very shitty. $8.25 was not enough to be pushing carts for an hour at a time. Who even hires separate baggers anymore? It wasn't worth the time or effort. Despite my first job failing, I got a call today from Target. Apparently they're hiring seasonal workers. Maybe I'll do it and see how it goes.
I gave my first speech today. It was an informative speech about social anxiety disorder. Fitting, no? I was fine until I started walking to the front of the class. My heart was beating much too fast, like at any time it would just rip out of my chest and vanish to somewhere else. I couldn't stop shaking. I could barely breathe; I was afraid to stop speaking to take deeper breaths, as if doing so would completely screw me up. I tried to make eye contact. Hell, I thought I did better than some other speakers who seemed to only look at their papers. Yet, when I got my grading slip, it said I needed to make more and gave me only a 3 out of 5 for it. I did my best on this speech; unfortunately, my best was only worth a C+. I thought I at least deserved a B. I was honest about having the disorder as well as what it entailed. My instructor pulled me aside after class and said he'd work with me on future assignments. I smiled and thanked him, then promptly walked to the restroom and found an empty stall to cry in.
Maybe I'm being overly dramatic about the whole ordeal. Then again, who likes to be told that their best isn't good enough?
My first day on the job went very well. I was completely prepared for it until we were about to turn into the parking lot. I started panicking and saying I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to. We spent maybe an hour learning where things were, as well as what our duties were. It's fairly easy stuff. It was a slow morning and afternoon, but of course I found myself having to interact with the customers and other employees. It wasn't bad at all. I smiled, asked if they wanted their milk in a bag, and politely said "Have a great day" as they left. I know this is the least I'll be doing. There will be disgruntled customers. There will be people who need help finding something. All in all, though, I think I'll be just fine.
As for my speech that was due today, my professor is moving the due date to next Wednesday, and he cancelled class for Monday. Yeah, things are going just fine.
Wednesday is my first day of work. I'm extremely nervous, seeing as I really need to prove I'm capable of managing my anxiety. Not only that, but proving I can juggle 20 or so hours of work and a 16 sem. hour course load.
As if that isn't enough, I have my first graded speech assignment the same day. I haven't even begun to do the research for it. It should be relatively easy, but of course my anxiety is starting to kick in, and I'm slowly getting into that mindset of "I'm going to fuck up, and there's nothing I can do to stop it." I can't wait for December 15th, my last day of speech. Then it'll be done and over with, and I'll have less stressful things to worry about. Like applying to UIUC for sophomore transfer. Like getting ready for the spring semester.
Speech class, you can not end fast enough.
Got a job at the grocery store down the road today. It's my first job ever, other than occasional babysitting. I'm terrified. I'm starting out as a bagger and cart pusher, but I'm still worried about how my anxiety will affect the way I work. I'm hoping I can overcome it; I NEED to overcome it. Even if it doesn't work out, at least I'll be able to say I tried.. and got paid for it. Haha.
My first sociology and government classes were today. Not too bad. Had to introduce myself both times, but at least I didn't have to stand up like in speech. So far, so good. I think this year is shaping up to be the best yet.
Definitely not my thing. Unfortunately, I had to give one today in my speech class. Considering how terrified I was, I think I did okay. To be honest, having a speech suddenly expected of me was easier than having time to prepare. It gave me virtually no time to be anxious, no opportunity to panic for days before. I know not all of my speeches will be this way, and I will have plenty of chances to let my social anxiety get the better of me. Today just proves that I'm capable of stepping up when I need to, of being courageous when I'd really rather not. I'm actually kinda proud of myself.
Once again, thanks for the encouragement about this blog. I do like having somewhere to vent, especially now that classes have started. I won't expect comments, but they're definitely appreciated haha.
